Someday

• Sitting by and staring at the ocean at 7 am on a cool, windy morning
• Having bun-maska and cutting chai for breakfast
• Walking around taking pictures, holding hands, talking about this and that and the other unconnected things
• Coming over to my place to meet mom and Tasha
• Going out for an expensive, la-di-dah dinner
• Watching a masala flick in a plush multiplex in some faraway suburb
• Fighting over the difference in taste in movies
• Going house hunting together
• Buying a house for us, here, in this city
• Tripping on weed together
• Lying together under the starlit sky
• Cuddling up and going to sleep once more
• Learning your language
• Baking a cake for you
• Writing about you and I
• Admiring how well we fit
• Getting married and having babies
• Being soulmates
• Growing old together
• Keeping promises

A month into unemployment, an update...

Glimpses of what my life looks like these days...

I love, love, love the mornings. I'm waking up earlier than i used to when i was working, and that surprises many. On a good day i catch the sunrise and the cool morning breeze, though the more common and regular highlight is reading the newspapers and having cha without having to rush or scurry like a rabbit. There are no trains to catch, no deadline to meet and no office to reach. And I like that.

Maybe because there's a lifestage-shift due, or maybe because i have the time, i find myself often sifting through old pictures of travel and vacations. Cropping, sharpening, softening, archiving, renaming, rearranging. Basically reliving it all at a more easy pace now. How i long to do the Europe trip again, this time wiser in so many ways.

Tasha and i are almost permanent fixtures in the building compound at all the doggie-walk times... Which means we're there at 10 am, 3 pm, 6 pm and 10. 30 pm. She's started being a little more disciplined than before, so i unleash her and let her run free... much to the chagrin of little boys who play there. Because Tasha loves their rubber ball, and if she manages to catch it before they can, will just not return it to them. In the picture above, the kids, in their desperation to save their ball from Tasha, threw it into the unused shed, and then went back to fetch it. Good natured Tasha felt tricked but gracefully took it her doggie stride. Or maybe she just decided in her canine mind to get back at them the next time...

I see kids everywhere... they're all over the place. So many of them. And that is amazing because all the time that i was working, i truly believed that the average age of the people in my locality had gone up considerably, going by that i never saw any kids anywhere. But now that i'm home and downstairs as often as am, i see that the whole place is almost swarming with them..

Wedding - of course is the flavor of the moment, and everything we say or do these days seems to have some connection with mine, which is coming up in 2 weeks. I will not write in this post how much i'm freaking out... instead i'll just look at the brighter side. Pretty clothes, lotsa song and dance, house full of relatives and friends, little games, spats, laughter and tears... all of this is in the offing, and all because i said yes.
The pic above is from Pin's wedding... she got married 2 weeks ago, and survived it. So i guess will I. Amen.

I'm also trying to be fit and toned, in time for the wedding. And so its an hour of gym - 20 minutes of cardio (treadmill, skipping), 20 minutes of stretching exercises (mostly yoga) and 20 minutes of light weights - leg presses etc. I could never imagine it, but working out in a gym is actually fun. And if you're vain like me, even more so. I love the sight of me all sweaty and flushed, with t-shirt sticking to body and strands of hair coming loose out of the ponytail. And also the look of the muscles feeling strained and stretched... i love it, i love it...

What makes the gym even more fun is that it is right next to the sea. There is a lawn, a promenade, lots of palm trees and the ocean. As I run on treadmill, my eyes remain fixated on the vast blue expanse in front, and i let my mind wander through the present back into the past and often peep into the future, though only time should tell what that will be like. And its exhilarating to say the least.

And there is the shopping. It is endless and its tiring, but i suppose it's something that one's just gotta do. The great indian wedding is a phenomenon unto itself, and my views on the shopping involved merits a separate post altogether.

And just in case you got the feeling that i'm living the good life devoid of the vices that creep into your lifestyle while working 12 hrs a day, 6 days a week, in a high stress environment, you are largely right. I am living and eating healthy, sleeping enough, exercising, hardly smoking and looking after myself well.

Becoming a teetotaler however is not anywhere on my agenda and i enjoy my drink as much as i always did, perhaps a tad more in fact. What's even better, i think i'm getting better at holding my drink. And it's a delight that fiance approves and indeed indulges me in my tippling plans.
Of all the joys of city life, smoke-filled garage-pubs with scores of groups of people all out for a chilled out time over beer, cigarettes and some good rock music - i would rank pretty much on top.

So much for a life free of vices.

Things i never imagined i would believe, but now i do...

It is possible to fall in/ be in love with someone before you've even met them. In other words, it is possible to love a notion.

Honesty is not always the best policy

Easy come, easy go

Loving Somerset Maugham

From The razor's edge:

• Love isn't a good sailor. With three thousand miles of ocean between, the pangs of love become quite tolerable. When i suffered from the pangs of unrequited love I immediately got on an ocean liner.
• American women expect to find in their husbands a perfection that English women only hope to find in their butlers.
• The heart has its reasons that reason takes no account of. When passion seizes the heart it invents reasons that seem not only plausible but convinces you that honour is well sacrificed and that shame is a cheap price to pay.
• Passion is destructive. And if it doesn't destroy it dies.
• Unless love is passion, it's not love, but something else; and passion thrives not on satisfaction but on impediment.
• I strove with none, for none was worth my strife. I warmed both my hands before the fire of life
• Self-confidence is a passion so overwhelming that beside it even lust and hunger are trifling. It whirls its victims to destruction in the highest affirmation of his personality. No wine is so intoxicating, no love so shattering, no vice so compelling.
• I couldn't believe that God wanted it (being praised to His face) either. It was hard for me to believe that God thought much of a man who tried to wangle salvation by fulsome flattery.
• You're a deeply religious person who does not believe in God. God will seek you out.
• I always felt that there was something pathetic in the founders of religion who made it a condition of salvation that you should believe in them. It's as though they needed your faith to have faith in themselves.
• Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it. We can none of us step into the same river twice, but the river flows on and the other river we step into is cool and refreshing too.