"Marriage means change". My wise ol mum announced a few days before my wedding. She was in that phase of imparting pearls of wisdom at all kinds of times and while doing all kinds of chores. When this particular nugget came my way, i think we were wrapping gifts for the groom's family in yards of golden mesh and ribbon.

"Don't be a pig, don't resist", she went on, displaying her awe-inspiring faith in my maturity levels. "Embrace change. Much of what you hold dear now - things, people - you may have to let go of. Things that you care naught about now, will become the most important. Keep your eyes and ears open, use your head.. be sensible and smart." She paused, gave me a look of that great affection and pity that only a mother of a bride-t0-be is capable of, and which can move you to tears. Sure enough, the next moment we had both burst into tears and were hugging and howling.

"Mammma... i don't wanna get married.... puhlleeeease!", I howled.

Thwackkk! The tears (hers) had stopped. The affectionate look had vaporized without a trace and i had instead the very stern looking mother i was more used to. "Shut up! You'll be fine. See daddy and me...we've been married for nearly 30 yrs now". She was back to packing the gifts, resolutely refusing to acknowledge the hurt-at-being-spurned look on my face. Mom always thought i was one for histrionics, you see.

Comical it seems in retrospect now, but it wasn't then. It happened again and again - this little routine of advicegiving-affectionshowing-bothcrying-meprotesting-megettingthwackk.

The problem was, with all the advise everyone had to offer, it seemed quite as though i were being readied for a concentration camp. All that talk about change, change, change! I, like millions before me, was petrified of living with my decision to get married, and live with a man i had chosen to spend the rest of my life with.

And am relieved and glad to see that like millions before me, i'm doing very well living with the same man. As for the changes, well, some are a tad irksome, but most are good. In fact, fun. Here's an example.

I had many interests as a child and teenager and young adult, but movies never really was a part of that. I never much cared about films...in fact i used to tell sis that i had trouble sitting through most movies coz i ran out of patience. And as a result i missed many. Make that most.

And it was ok really coz i didn't even know what i was missing out on.

And then i got married to a guy who talks, walks, dreams, eats, drinks, sleeps movies. He's a walking encyclopedia on Hollywood trivia, and knows more about this one area, than my collective knowledge of several other things.

When he got to know about my lack of knowledge of (and apparent interest in) cinema, it messed his head pretty bad. He was this bag of mixed emotions... he couldn't believe it (i had told him i could count on fingers the number of movies i had ever seen in my life), he was appalled ("do you have annny idea what you have missed in life????"), he marvelled at fate ("how amazing that i should fall in love with a girl who is a blank slate on the one thing that i hold dearest!"), and... he was also a little excited - at the prospect of showing this dazzling new world to me... showing me the wonders that his 1000+ dvds - patiently and proudly amassed from around the globe - held.

"Watch a movie a day", he said, "and you will still not be done after 2 yrs. You have time.. make the most of it".

Ok, i thought, why not. After all, movies = entertainment, and i like entertainment.

He introduced me to IMDb and its famous Top 250 list, and to Rotten Tomatoes. To the various famous lists and annual surveys. To the Oscars. To the greats of every decade, the award winners, the losers, the never-wons, the farces - - - the works.

And now, i like movies, and am happy he took my under his wing as far as this was concerned. I still don't watch a movie a day; am nowhere close to having seen all best movies he has, let aside all the rest of them. I woke up in the middle of the night this year to watch the Academy awards ceremony, and i know i will do it again next year.

When he goes on and on about his favorite films, their moments, the actors - i roll my eyes and make fun of him, and laugh, and refuse to pay attention - simply to irk him... but really, i find it terribly sweet to see him all worked up about this little obsession of his.

Yes, marriage demands change. In your lifestyle, in your perspective on things. But you know what, keep your eyes and ears (and mind) open, and you'll get by just fine.

Like my friend KD says, "When you see life is calling, hang up the other line!"