Like most people, i have never known - like personally known - a child prodigy. Everytime i read about one in the newspaper, or see one on TV, i feel - like anyone would - awed and impressed, but frankly - i don't feel moved or affected. They are so far removed from my reality, so remote - that it never goes beyond being a fantastic piece of news reported with some gusto by the unnecessarily breathless media.

Lately though, I have begun to wonder what it must be like for the family and friends of an extraordinarily gifted child. And the more i think about it, the less convinced i am that it's a fantastic thing.

Imagine being the mother to a baby who at the age of 3 starts rattling off medical terminology -lisp and all - telling you why you should blanch and not saute those greens, or who by age 5, when others kiddos are still struggling to hold their pencils right, expresses the desire to appear for the IIT-JEE or some such. And worse, gets through.

What an emotional roller-coaster for the mom! Sure.. great pride and lots of adulation and all that. Media coverage, fawning relatives, curious neighbours, envious parents at PTA meetings, et cetera. Plus, no worries about having to struggle to get the child to finish the homework and study for the unit-tests and choose subjects in class X and grapple with career advice... blah blah and some more.

But hey, what about the flipside? What about the comforting warmth of the ordinariness of things? What about the satisfaction of being the child's first teacher, of molding the wet-clay-like young mind, inculcating values, etc etc etc? And taking the credit for it. Basking in the glory of bringing up a fantastic person? Feeling like supermom and superdad? What about all the hero-worship and expressions of mommy-knows-best or my-daddy-strongest from the tot?

It must be tough being the parents of a child prodigy - i am conviced of it.

And how do i know, given that i don't have kids of my own? Well, i know because i have a nephew, who isn't even "extraordinarily gifted" - just plain intelligent, and sharp. And everyday, he's becoming more and more impossible for me to hang out with. Oh I love him and all that, but frankly it was easier for me when - till a year ago- he was in class I and i was his very hip and cool aunt who knew a lot about a lot of things.

As it is, he is at the moment - at 6 yrs - at that girl-hating age when he would rather lose his two front teeth (actually he has lost them already) than be caught admitting that he loves me (which he does, by the way!!). Making it worse is the fact that the dude has learnt to read, and browse the internet, and has taken to encyclopedia and all kinds of trivia and GK - like fish to water, egged on by his doting daddy and quiz-afficianado uncle (my dear hubby). The result of it all is that suddenly i'm feeling rather ignorant in front of a 4-foot-something of a brat - which between you and me, i'm not liking at all.

If you're still not convinced of how annoying this can be, sample the following conversation. It happened at his place, yesterday on this 6th birthday.

Little Nephew (LN): Taraa pinni (means auntie) - how many African countries can you name?

Me (unsuspecting, confidently thinking hard): Umm... about 6-7...

LN (shocked, delighted, hands on mouth): That's it? Which ones, which ones?

Me (slightly indignant): Ok, let's see - South Africa, Nigeria, Algeria, Sudan, Laos...

LN (interrupting very loudly): Laos??? Laos is in Asia... !

Me: Of course not! What's wrong with you? It's it Africa. (Turning to hubby) - Hon..?

Hon (dryly): It's in Asia, babes

Me (slightly flushed): Oh? Oh yeah? Is it? Oh. Oh well ok.. anyway...

LN (interrupting, refusing to let go of the Africa topic): Go on, go on... what else?

Me (still indignant): Yeah ok... so where were we? South Africa, Nigeria, Algeria, Sudan... (pauses)...umm... Niger....err.. Ethiopia... and... ummmm.. oh Egypt. Yeah.. Egypt yeah. Aaaanddd...Zimmbaabweee...? (Thinking hard. Then giving up) Umm.. ok that's it. That's 8 - not bad huh?

LN (triumphantly): Hoo.. only 8!! There are totally 53. I'll tell you?

It's not a question. If it were, he would wait for an answer. While i'm thinking thus, he's started rattling off breathlessly

"Albania Tanzania Madagascar Ethiopia Zambia Namibia Kenya Somalia Uganda Cameroon Botswana Mauritius Seychelles Burkina-Faso"

Hubby (interrupts, awed, impressed): Burkina Faso!! Notttt baaaad!

At this point, I'm tapping my fingers on the arm-rest, not quite liking the way this is going. LN's mom decides to be kind and end my humiliation, and tells LN that that would be enough.

LN (singing, running off after a toy engine) - La la la.. Taraa Pinni doesn't know... La la la.

And as i sit there - feeling intensely hot in the face but outwardly laughing off the whole episode, i swear i would go home and study every possible thing that a 7 year old could possibly know.

As you can see, i did read up the African map - to begin with.

But that's the whole point... who the hell wants to be kept on their toes by a broken-toothed, scraped kneed, mop-headed, sunburnt brown little know-it-all? A 2nd grader! Who wants to hear "La la la.. (fill in your name here) doesn't know anything.. la la la"? Not me, surely!

I don't know about you, but i think child prodigies must be a damn pain to live with.

Anyway, gotta go now. For some strange reason, i suddenly feel like studying the map of South America. Tra la la!